You would have probably thought that it is the 21st century and talking would probably work, and going through the hard way is just meant for people that know nuts about education and the old brain process (of injecting fear), is no longer working.
You walk to the office and start using your computer, inputting all your information and working into it. The next moment, off you go for a coffee break and bam! Someone is trying to use your computer for unsolicited or malicious purposes. (Spying your emails, looking at your work and personal stuff). Let me see, all of those don’t really make sense or add up to anything. But they are just interested, and when you come back from your business, they will just stroll away from your desk as though nothing have happen.
Or if they have been probably caught red-handed they would probably just shyly walk away saying.
“Well, Nothing!”
(Like I don’t give a shit but I really care about your shit!)
Or they would probably put it in another way and say something like..
“Oh, I was just admiring your amazing desktop wallpaper!”
(Its a picture of the default Windows XP wallpaper that is hanging everywhere since 2000)
So what I thought was here is some ways which you can probably deal with it..
1) Take it like a man!
(Do it like a brother, do it like a dude!)
So what you want from me dude! You want iloveyou.doc? Sure I pass it to you! But you have to come over to my place tonight and keep it a secret from the rest of the world and isolate the document from all internet access and malicious software that has been lingering your computer. And for goodness sake, don’t share it on Limewire or on Torrent sites.
2) Take it like a Jelly .. Rage!
(Giving your most ‘Bimbo’ or Ah Kua voice as possible; and being angry! That’s a hefty job!)
WHAT? You touch my computer? Do you know how rude is that! Even though I don’t store any adult content or my content in anyway possible, how can you do that! That’s a complete turnover from my working ethics and morale! That’s too big for me to handle! I am not tolerating you anymore and don’t you dare you touch my computer again if not I am going to unplug and bring the keyboard to the loo with me!
3) Publicize!
(Even though it won’t bring you any cred)
You could make a lot of noise about it and people peeping up to you computer. But this won’t mend anything and work any relationships out! And probably bring you more publicity as a matter of fact and more people touching your computer! HAHA PWNED.
4) Forget it. (Bo-chup!)
(Celebrate good times, come on!)
Probably one of the worst methods out of this four, yet surprisingly many people will do that. The user would probably just pretend that they don’t see anything and walk past to see what they are doing on the user’s PC. After that, using those results they probably collated to come out with something fanciful with rainbows and dolphins in the air. After extensive research? Nothing! No actions!
Alright so this is getting out of hand!
I am getting out of here!
5) CAN’T YOU JUST LOCK
YOUR COMPUTER?
Let me teach you, for Windows users: Window Key, followed by L.
Mac users? Just wait for your computer to Sleep before going to the toilet.
KThxBye
(You will probably know why I wrote this after you enrolled into a polytechnic / college and leave your computer unattended while you are buying food and sitting with a bunch of friends who are ready to eat you up at anytime possible) – And this is a survivor how-to guide and a big mission.
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Jeremy Goh
Jeremy is a friendly geek with a passion for Social Media and all things Technology/Design. When he is not obsessed with anything tech related, you can catch him emceeing, speaking in public or at Toastmasters, playing a quick game and coming out with some killer ideas! And yes, I offer Social Media Consultancy and Branding services. (more..)
